It is hard

Dear love, I hope you’re doing fine.

Only 4 days have passed. Feels like 4 months. I’ve been missing you and Aya so much that I quietly weep on bed sometimes.

There are so many memories of us here. Every place I go would remind me of you.  Every thing I do would remind me of you too.

Yesterday I participated in the organization meeting and it reminded me of how we used to meet in a meeting.

When I saw a married couple with their 5-month-old baby, it brought my mind back to you and Aya.

When I felt sick and dizzy this morning, I remembered you used to be with me when I was sick.

When I feel tired of study, I remembered we used to study together last time and I would go to you whenever I’m tired.

Sometimes I can’t control it but it keeps coming that it started to hurt. Deep inside I’m hurt, I can feel the pain is throbbing and it feels like someone is gripping my heart and won’t let go.

But I know the only choice left is to be strong as you said and that’s what i’m trying to do since I left.

To be strong and keep going no matter how hard.

And it is hard.

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